Boys in the Back Row Read online

  “Uh, our parents are pretty cool about stuff like that,” I said, trying to sound casual.

  “That is awesome,” Tattoo Girl said, crossing her arms and nodding slowly. “My folks would never have driven that far just to take me to a con. You guys are gonna have the best time.”

  “Have you been to DefenderCon?” I asked.

  “Yeah, a couple of times. It’s cool. It’s not anything like the really big conventions, but that’s probably okay for you guys, being first-timers.”

  “Oh,” I said. Tattoo Girl was making it sound unimpressive, and it must have shown on my face because she held up her hands, palms facing me.

  “Dudes, the smaller cons aren’t bad,” she said. “I like the big cons because I get to see a lot of friends, and they have tons of swag, but I was totally overwhelmed by the first one I went to. It was huge, you know?”

  We didn’t, but she was making sense. We were gonna be there by ourselves, after all.

  “Got any advice for a couple of first-timers like us?” Eric said.

  “Sure.” Tattoo Girl held up an index finger. “One, don’t be a creep. I mean, I’ve seen you guys in here a lot, so I know you’re not creeps, but there might be guys and girls in costume, and sometimes the cosplayers show a lot of skin. Don’t stare—staring’s creepy.”

  Guys and girls?

  “Two.” She held up another finger. “There’s a lot of free stuff, but don’t grab everything. Posters are cool, but they’re hard to transport. Buttons are also cool, but they take up more room than you might think they do. T-shirts are good because you can wear them, stickers are good, comics are the best.”

  Eric and I grinned at each other, geeking out at the thought of all that free stuff. Tattoo Girl looked toward the back of the store, also grinning, and I saw one of the other store clerks grinning back at her.

  “You guys are so cute!” Tattoo Girl said again. She held up her hand with her index finger, middle finger, and thumb all sticking out. “Okay, three. Don’t take any crap from other attendees—the comic book world is still kind of backward in some ways. There are a lot of other creeps. Got it?”

  We nodded, and Tattoo Girl folded up her index finger and middle finger and stuck out her thumb.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “No worries. We do have the new issue of Dimensional Nexus, if you guys want to check that out. Sandpiper’s in it.”

  “Totally!” Spoken in unison again, but whatever.

  Tattoo Girl pointed at the wall on the opposite side of the store from the registers, but we already knew that was where the new releases were. I followed Eric around the display of bobbleheads and plush toys in the middle of the floor, and we found the new Dimensional Nexus after a minute of browsing the shelves.

  “So that was cool,” I said. “Weird, but cool.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  Eric carefully flipped through the first few pages of the new Dimensional Nexus. I leaned in to look, close enough that my shoulder smushed up against Eric’s. A second later I heard what sounded like the word “adorable” from behind us, so I peeked over my shoulder. Tattoo Girl and the other clerk, a taller girl with a T-shirt that said “BE KIND” in flowing, scripty letters, and “UN” right before “KIND” in bright red, blocky, slightly diagonal letters, like it’d been stamped there. They stood behind the counter with their arms slung over each other’s shoulders, both grinning openly at us.

  I smiled weakly back.

  “They’re looking at us,” I mumbled out of the side of my mouth into Eric’s ear.

  “Who?” Eric looked around, almost whacking me in the face with the back of his head. When he made eye contact with the girls they laughed and split apart, and Unkind Girl (who actually seemed kind enough) went back to the other end of the store, still chuckling.

  “Dude, whatever, who cares? I’m getting this.” Eric carefully closed the issue of Dimensional Nexus, I grabbed one for myself, and we took them to the counter.

  “Why do you call us ‘cute’ all the time?” I blurted out. Tattoo Girl lifted an eyebrow, still smiling as she rang up the comic for Eric.

  “Oh, come on, I don’t say that all the time.”

  “Okay, no, but you’ve said stuff like it a few times,” Eric jumped in. “What’s up with that?”

  Tattoo Girl slid the comic into a bag, handed it to Eric along with his change, then leaned on the counter with both arms.

  “All right, since we’re getting real here, my name’s Gabi.” Tattooed Gabi stuck her hand directly at me. I held out my hand, and she grabbed it, pumped it once, and let go.

  “I’m Matt.”

  “Good to meet you. And you?” Gabi’s hand swiveled to Eric, who also had his hand grabbed and shaken.

  “Eric.”

  “That’s Angie back there,” Gabi said, pointing with her thumb at the back of the store, where Angie was waving her arms around while talking to a guy in a hoodie with an Atomic Aardvark plush toy in his hand. “We were just saying how great it is that a couple of young dudes like you are so, you know, comfortable being together.”

  Eric and I looked at each other, then back at Gabi.

  “Especially around here, you know? I mean, it’s not the worst place in the world, but people in this town can be pretty backward about that stuff,” Gabi said.

  “About what stuff?” I said, honestly curious. “Being best friends?”

  “No, I mean, you know, being together.”

  Oh. That again.

  Eric blew out a long, gusty breath, looked at the ceiling, and shook his hands like a mad scientist saying “it’s alive!” I leaned away from the counter and slapped myself on the forehead, and we slumped into each other like a couple of zombies, shoulder to shoulder.

  “Wow, that’s quite a display, guys,” Gabi said. “Very theatrical.”

  I put my elbow on the counter, planted my forehead on the palm of that hand, and looked up at Gabi by rolling my eyes up until I could see her.

  “We’re not, you know. Boyfriends.”

  “Yeah, I got that.” Gabi tilted her head and gave us a sideways smile that was small, but also very nice, maybe just because her whole face looked relaxed or something. “It’s okay, you know.”

  “So … why did you think we’re gay?” Eric said.

  “Do you guys think there’s something wrong with being queer?” Gabi crossed her arms and squinted at us, suddenly looking a lot less relaxed.

  “No, of course not!” I said.

  “You sure?” Gabi said, slowly raising one eyebrow.

  “Yes! We just … we’re not gay, or queer, you know? Why does everyone think we are?”

  “Not everyone’s as nice about it as you,” Eric said. Gabi snorted.

  “Oh, you guys have NO idea,” she said. “Okay, well. I think it’s mostly because you guys are just sweet with each other, you know?”

  “Sweet how?” I said.

  “It’s not like we make out with each other,” Eric said.

  “No, that’s not what I mean,” Gabi said. “Look at that thing you did before, with the”—she made claws out of her hands and shook them in the air like Eric had—“and the leaning together and stuff. You guys touch each other, you know? Not in a creepy way, just in a way most guys don’t.”

  “That’s it?” I said. “Because we touch each other?”

  “Mostly that.”

  Eric and I looked at each other, but looked back at Gabi when she burst out laughing.

  “It’s the way you do that too! You guys look right into each other’s eyes!”

  “So what?” I said. “Other guys look each other in the face too, don’t they?”

  “Not that long, and not without making stupid bro jokes,” Gabi said. “You guys just look at each other without even talking.”

  Eric and I looked at each other again.

  “Dude, it’s kind of weird to look at you now,” he said.

  “I know, right?”

  “Sorry, I didn’t
mean to make things weird,” Gabi said, grinning.

  I sighed. “It’s okay, I guess.”

  “It gets a lot worse than this,” Eric said.

  “I believe it.” Gabi shook her head. “People suck. I think you guys are awesome, for what it’s worth. Got it?”

  “Got it,” we said together.

  Gabi grinned. “Awesome. Let me ring that up for you, Matt.”

  As she dug my change out of the register I heard someone line up behind us. I looked over my shoulder out of pure reflex, and my eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw the shocked-looking face staring back at me. It was Sean. I mean, of course it was Sean. Life would have been simpler if it’d been just some random kid we don’t know.

  “Hey, look at you coming back so soon! Nice!”

  I spun back the other way to look at Gabi, who was looking past me with a one-sided smile. I looked behind me again, but there wasn’t anyone else back there. The only person she could have been smiling at was Sean, who was holding a copy of …

  The Rocket Cats Ultimate Collection.

  Geez, what was going on? It was cool to meet another fan, or would have been, except it was Sean, so we weren’t actually meeting him because we already knew him, and if it was someone we actually were just meeting, we wouldn’t know what they’re like, but we already knew what Sean was like. Sean was like … himself. He was so Sean.

  “Thanks, guys,” Gabi said. I was so busy whipping my head back and forth that I moved my hand just as she was putting my change into it. The clatter and ping of money hitting the floor felt really loud. I crouched to pick it up.

  “I see you guys know each other.” I could only hear Gabi from down there on the floor, but her voice sounded amused and curious.

  “Yeah, we know each other,” Eric said, eyeballing Sean with what I call his “isn’t this interesting” face as I stood up.

  “We go to the same school,” Sean said, using a voice that was almost like his normal one, except less stuck-up than usual. He looked the same as usual, though—still taller and skinnier than me, and still blonder than Eric. He paused, almost like he was making up his mind about something, then went on. “What’s up, guys?”

  “Hey, Sean,” I said out of sheer reflex. What color was the sky in this world?

  “I was kind of hoping to run into you guys here.”

  What? Why?? Because you took our DefenderCon schedule at school and now you want to talk about DefenderCon?

  Nothing good could happen if we talked about DefenderCon. We had to avoid the subject no matter what.

  “Well, we got all the Rocket Cat fans in the world right here,” Gabi said. Eric and I stepped aside as she held a hand out to Sean, palm up. He handed The Rocket Cats Ultimate Collection to Gabi and dug a black leather wallet out of his back pocket.

  “You guys probably have one of these already, huh?” Sean said as Gabi rang him up.

  “He does,” Eric said, pointing at me with a thumb.

  “Cool.”

  “Do you guys know there’s gonna be a Rocket Cats TV show?” Gabi said as she gave Sean his change.

  All three of us started talking at once.

  “Yeah, it looks amazing—”

  “It’s on Crusader Central, so it won’t be for little kids—”

  “It’s the same people who did Metalcore Raccoon Lodge. That was awesome—”

  We stopped all at once when we realized what was happening: Eric, Sean, and I were all talking about Rocket Cats together in a totally psyched, non-suspicious (for me and Eric), non-jerkface (for Sean) way. Like we were, you know, friends.

  We must have all gotten weirded out at once, because we all stopped talking and started staring at each other at the same time.

  “Here.”

  We looked at Gabi, who had a big grin on her face and was holding some kind of postcard in Sean’s direction. He took it from her and looked at it, and I got a good look at the side facing me before he flipped it over. It had a red background with one word on it in white letters with black outlines: DEFENDERCON.

  Welp. There went our chances of avoiding the subject.

  I looked at Eric, who looked back at me, but then I noticed Sean was looking at Eric, and suddenly Sean and I were looking at each other (which was uncomfortable and weird), then Sean and Eric were looking at each other (which I didn’t like at all), then we were all kind of looking back and forth between each other (which was even more uncomfortable), and finally we all just looked down at our feet because what the heck was even happening??

  We were rescued by the sound of a very loud person coming into the store. The little bell hanging by the front door jingled violently as a tall, bushy-haired guy in a black T-shirt with nothing but the Blue Beetle logo on it—awesome shirt—came inside. He was obviously a friend of Gabi’s, because he stepped up to the counter right next to Sean and stuck a handful of what looked like tickets right into Gabi’s face.

  “GABRIELA!” he bellowed. “BEHOLD!”

  “Can’t,” Gabi said. “There’s a giant, sweaty hand in front of my face.”

  She was laughing at the same time, though, and as she pulled Blue Beetle Guy’s hand away from her face she put her other hand on his chest. Her eyes opened wide as she looked at the slips of paper in his hand, then she let out a “WHOOP” and thrust her arms in the air.

  “YEAH! How’d you get these??”

  “By hunching over my laptop and hitting the refresh button for hours and hours. TicketWizard is … less than wizardly.”

  “Well, yeah, but how was it not sold out?” Gabi was hopping up and down, she was so excited. She’d completely forgotten we were even there, so Eric and I seized the opportunity to head for the door and leave as quickly as possible. Of course it wasn’t quiet because of the stupid bell over the door, but we made it out onto the sidewalk, and as we started walking I felt a wave of relief at leaving all that strangeness behind us. It was a lot colder outside of the store, but also a lot less weird.

  It didn’t last long, though. We’d only gotten as far as Bunduck Hardware, the hilariously named store two doors down, when the door to Hero Worship jingled again.

  “Hey …”

  Eric and I stopped and looked at each other with our “I have a bad feeling about this” looks on our faces. Then we sloooowly turned around to look at Sean, because of course Sean had followed us out of the store. The fact that we just had the most awkward trip to Hero Worship ever didn’t mean things had to stop getting more awkward, right?

  Sean was carrying a brown paper bag with his new Rocket Cats book in it in one hand. It couldn’t have been anything else, and of course Sean would hide the book inside a paper bag like that. Eric and I got harassed a lot, but it didn’t stop us from actually being ourselves. Well, most of the time, anyway. A gust of cold wind hit the display in front of Bunduck Hardware, rattling a stand of Christmas lights with a “75% OFF!” sign on it, and I stuck my hand that wasn’t proudly holding my new copy of Dimensional Nexus into my jacket pocket.

  “I have a bad feeling about this,” Eric whispered as Sean walked up to us looking … hesitant? Nervous? He looked nervous. Maybe it was because he was wearing a puffy blue coat—it was harder to look cool in a winter coat. I felt nervous too, which just made this Day of Unexpectedly Having Things in Common with Sean McKenna weirder. Was it ever going to stop?

  “Are you guys thinking about this?” Sean held up the postcard and pointed at the big “DefenderCon” on it.

  “Thought about it how?” Eric said.

  “Thought about whether you’re going or not, doofus,” Sean said. “Doofus” sounded a lot less mean in his nervous voice, to be honest, but come on. Mean is mean.

  “We’ve thought about it,” I said, feeling annoyed.

  “Seriously?” Sean said, dropping his hands and flicking the postcard onto the sidewalk. Another blast of wind briefly lifted it off the sidewalk, and it settled a few feet farther down the block.

  “Can you not do tha
t?” I said.

  “Dude, it’s fine,” Sean said, not even looking at the postcard. “Whatever. You said—”

  “What Matt meant was yeah, we’ve thought about it, but we don’t want to get expelled,” Eric quickly jumped in.

  “Uh, yeah, I mean, DefenderCon would be super cool, but it’s during the band competition,” I said.

  “Well, actually it’s on the day after the competition,” Sean said. “You know, the optional day.”

  The optional day? What kind of menace to society calls the last day of an out-of-town field trip “optional”?

  “It’s the World of Amazement day,” Eric said. “Do you seriously want to skip out on the rides and stuff?”

  “Yeah,” Sean said, sounding like his usual, irritatingly confident self. “Meeting Jonah Burns AND sneaking out right under Drabek’s nose at the same time? It’d be legendary!”

  I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I silently raged at my parents for not letting me have a phone, because I totally would have faked a phone call from them just to get away from Sean.

  BZZZZZT.

  Eric’s phone was vibrating! It was a Christmas miracle! It was six weeks late, but whatever!

  Eric fished the phone out of his pocket, tapped it with a thumb, and held it up to his ear.

  “Hi, Mom. Yeah, we’re coming.” Pause. “Now? Do we have to … okay, okay. Bye.”

  Eric stuck his phone back into his pocket and waved at me. “We gotta go, Matt.”

  “Now?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I knew it was fake and I should play along.

  “Mom got the time wrong. We need to hurry.” Ah, the old “Mom messed up the restaurant reservation” scenario. Eric was already walking away, fast. “Bye, Sean.”

  “Hold on, can you guys just—” Sean said, but I was already running after Eric.

  “Sorry, Eric’s mom will kill us if we’re not on time!” I said over my shoulder. “See you later!”

  Sean said something else, but we were too busy running down the block, around the corner, and to the end of downtown where the big “Welcome to Hilltop Summit” sign was (yes, our town’s name is two words that basically mean the same thing) to hear. We ran across the street, where we finally flopped onto the bench outside of the laundromat, flapping our coats open and shut to cool down without getting actually cold. Mrs. Nee, the owner, peeked out of the laundromat door and waved, and we waved back. Sean’s house was in the opposite direction, so hopefully he wasn’t following us, but we only sat there long enough to catch our breath, then started walking to Eric’s house, since we’d been about to go there anyway.